some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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