my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
