I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
