if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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