i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
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JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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