So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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