you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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