next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
