hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
