He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
