ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
