I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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