I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
