i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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