Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
