Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
