I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
