i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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