this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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