please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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