I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Randomize
