if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
