I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
