i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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