im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
