i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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