Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
