If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
