I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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