how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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