I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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