this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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