How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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