I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
