Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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