Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
