Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
