he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
