I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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