I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
