The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize