I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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