dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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