I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
