There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
