I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm really busy with my period
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