I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
