I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Randomize
