no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
