We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
