Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
farters have to be the big spoon...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize