I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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