Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
