My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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