bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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