I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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