i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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