party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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