Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
